You would think I had nothing to write about this week as I haven’t updated in a few days. This is not true, I guess I came to a crossroads which was difficult to negotiate.
I feel sometimes that all I ever do is complain and talk about sad stuff, maybe that is true to a degree. I’m going to talk some more about sadness but honestly there is a tiny glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel.
The phrase that stood out most for me this week was “from heart broken to just broken in a year”. Last Christmas I was heartbroken beyond any imaginable words, my days were dark and I struggled to catch a breath. People around me were wonderful and my church family carried me along with my faith. I told myself that this Christmas I would not be heartbroken any more and that I’d have a tiny baby in my belly or my arms to help soothe the pain a little. That has not happened, I have since endured further loss and health issues which I couldn’t even begin to talk about in this thread. This Christmas (technically it’s not Christmas yet, but you know what I mean) I am not heartbroken any more, I would describe myself as just broken.
As I sat in my car at lunch time after having an amazing conversation with someone, I glanced to the sky and saw the brightest double rainbow, it was as if God was telling me that there hope after all. The conversation I had just experienced was about the possibility of achieving my dream of getting a rainbow baby (babies, I do want twins ha ha) and I have to find it in me to believe that the double rainbow was a sign for me.