It was not me who decided to test out how hot the vanity lights were above the bathroom sink. We don’t usually leave the main bathroom light on overnight for the children, it didn’t blow so I didn’t need to check if it was ok to leave the vanity lights on.
It is not me who plugged in my toothbrush charger because my toothbrush was out of charge. I didn’t forget to put the toothbrush in the charger and discover that when I needed to clean my teeth.
It was not me who stayed up really late the other night when my husband was away on business. I wasn’t making the most out of every minute I actually had the TV remote to myself.
It was not my five year old child who decided to try do a toy maze above his head to see if he could do it without looking. It was not the same child who spent two afternoons in the hospital with various staff trying to retrieve the balbearing that came out of the maze and fell into his ear. No way would my Seb ever do anything like that.
It was not me who was almost strangled by her washing line. It was not a serious incident, nope, being chocked was really ok. It was not the new £70 washing line recently purchase from Argos. I am not going to complain that it did not collapse without warning.
It is not me who is asking for a new laptop for her birthday this week. I don’t want one with a 17 inch screen, and I certainly don’t want one with a huge hard drive for all my graphics and photos. It is not me who is living in hope, though I do suspect I will be disappointed and might have to go ask Santa instead.
It was definitely not me who borrowed the next door neighbours bun tins. I wasn’t being lazy trying to do our buns in half the number of batches for my daughter’s birthday tea. It wasn’t me who had the neighbours kitchen door key whilst looking after their kids, it was not me who took the bun tin, honest! It was not their children who would reap the rewards of fast baked buns.
I did not ask my 12 year old son to return the tin on my behalf, he did not knock on the door seeing the car sitting in their drive. I do not think they were in the shower or somewhere like that, and my son definitely did not put the tin back in its rightful place in the kitchen and leave the house again without their knowledge. I did not tell my son off for that, nope, I would never do that after all going into peoples houses without their knowing is not wrong.