Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
This is definitely not my dining table. This is not paint and it was not put on the table by my children. The paint is not still there despite several days of scrubbing.

Wasn’t my child who went to find his chef’s costume, couldn’t find it then turned up to help make dinner wearing just his underpants, a chef’s hat and a mile wide smile. I did not wish I had taken a photograph. —
It’s not me who is loving my iPhone, and it’s not me who can’t work it without my reading glasses on. I am definitely not getting old.—It was not my two youngest children who got locked in the bathroom this week. The lock did not fail while they were in cleaning their teeth. It was not the five year old who had to open the window after gentle persuasion. It was definitely not skinny ass me who had to climb through the bathroom window with my 12 year old in tow. It actually wasn’t my other half who couldn’t get his legs high enough to get in the same window. It wasn’t me who had to take the pins out of the hinges of the very solid bathroom door in order to lift it out of the door frame. I did not damage the paintwork in the process. —We did not have to buy a new lock for the door, and we don’t have to repaint the door.It wasn’t my husband who decided to try out the new lock the following morning whilst I was not in bed sleeping. He was not in his boxer shorts and he absolutely definitely did not forget to put the handle on the other side. He did not get locked in the bathroom himself, no way you cant tell anyone!—It was not our wedding anniversary on Saturday. My husband definitely did not ‘forget’ to buy me card, he did not use the excuse that he did not get a chance to go to the shop. I definitely did not point out to him that he is in the local shop every single day, and they do not sell cards – no, none whatsoever. I also do not have a craft room filled with card making materials amongst other things, he could have gone into it at any time and got the kids to make something. My husband did not some 24 hours later go to the shop to buy his Sunday paper, (no he would never forget to buy that) and he did not buy an unfunny card with a monkey on it. When I read the card I did not notice that he had failed to sign the card. He did not tell me he couldn’t find a pen, we do not have oodles of ‘school’ materials in our house, and we don’t have a fully stocked office and craft room either – nope not us not a single pen or pencil in our house.

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